Exophase thinks graphics matter in video games. That's absolutely insane. The worst part is he think's he's right. He's just crazy. And he's just posting in the hopes of pissing me off.

But this is really stupid.

He even said Nethack sucked. That means his opinion doesn't matter.

Also everything he said was stupid anyway. It was just crazy. He's gone crazy.

Worst part is he doesn't know I'm high every post. I don't know why that's the worst. It seems to be.

I'm cold and lonely. I don't like arguments on the boards. I wish this thing with Exo would get over. He's always so angry at me. Nevermind he dated my wife. Now Asgromo seems angry. They take it so seriously. This is all they care about. Like I've insulted everything they love. It's strange.

You'd be crazy thinking after all these years that graphics mattered to gameplay.

I'm hungry. There's not much to eat. There are some things. I don't want to eat. Nothing I really want. Spoiled, maybe. I've been smoking pot for a while. It's making me very hungry.

I'm so happy being a writer.

No one understands how important writing is. It's very important. It's everything. My generation doesn't understand. They don't read. They don't write. It's terrible.

I'm a good writer. I can be a good writer. I'm not good now. I can be later. I'll only get better. It's the most important thing. I'd give almost anything to be good at writing. It must sound strange. It's important to me.

I don't know what to write though.

I want to write something. A book. Something good.

I can't think of anything.

Nothing.

I've been copying a lot of Dr. Thompson. It's a good thing to copy. Brilliant. For a few moments everything I write is good. It's not my writing. Still it's nice. Hard though. Have to look at every word twice. Always feel bad getting things wrong. It takes forever. Chapters are long. In Dr. Thompson they're short. It's more enjoyable to copy. I can take more breaks.

I hope it'll do something.

It feels good, but maybe it's useless. Maybe I'll never be better.

It's hard to explain.

Still hungry and not sure what to eat. I was going to play video games. Don't want to. Almost scared to. Should be writing or copying. Video games make me sad anyway. I might play Daggerfall. I'm not sure.

I need something to write about.

I need something good. I'm afraid. Not sure why.

There are lots of nerd things I could write about. It'd be terrible though. I don't want to be a nerd writer. I don't do much though. That's my problem. I need to do more. I need to do things so I'll write about them. Or something. I'm not really sure. Maybe I need to stop being afraid of fiction. I need to not be afraid of lieing. Making things up. I have to eventually. It scares me.

I could write a lot like that. If I made things up I'd write. I'd write a lot. I'm so afraid to lie. I hate lieing. I hate lieing more than anything. It's ironic, really.

A writer who won't lie.

It's an irrational fear. I need to write fiction eventually. Literature, that is. That's different slightly.

Maybe I just need to write. I need to forget about good and bad writing. Just write. Keep writing. Write anything, everything. Have the most experience.

But I'm afraid of writing bad things. I don't want to write bad things. I'm terrified of it.

I'm terrified of programming bad things too.

It's similar.

I don't want people to know me for the bad stuff I've made. I'm terrified of it. Everyone will think I'm an idiot. I don't want that. It's egotistical but I want people to like me. I do. I won't lie about it. I want people to like me or even respect me. It's too much to ask. No one is ever liked or respected. I still want it. So badly. I've always wanted it. In everything.

I want to be known for good things. I want people to like me. I want to be respected author or journalist. I'd kill for people to like me. I don't know why it's important but it is. But more than that I want to be a good writer.

I don't want to be a bad writer. I want to be a good writer. If I write bad things, I'm a terrible writer. It sounds strange and stupid, maybe.

I just want to be a good writer.

Specifically a good writer. Not just a writer. Anyone can write. I want to write well.

Maybe eventually.

If I copy enough.